By Harry Liu
Committee: U.S.S
28 October 2023 at 1:25 A.M GMT-7
During a conference regarding healthcare reforms in the U.S, the gravitational instability of a Republican senator caused him to fall out of his chair. No injuries were sustained, but the participant did feel a sharp sensation of pain upon impact.
About two-thousand and twenty-three years and three hundred days after the death of Jesus Christ, a republican senator fell to the floor while attending a conference revolving around potential reforms to the American public healthcare system. Although what exactly happened was unable to be determined, a broad process can be observed.
The American senator’s first mistake was to lean back upon his chair, causing its spring to build up forward momentum. Then, the senator made the terrible decision to retract his posture, allowing the spring to charge forwards, shoving his body forwards. Luckily, the senator was able to re-balance his positioning by placing his feet on the floor in front of him to counter the forward momentum. However, it was too late - his gluteus medius was at a position that was too far to allow feasible resettlement upon his chair. This caused his relaxed body to propel the chair backwards, obliterating any hope of his body landing on the chair.
Moments later after the chair had failed to catch his body, the republican senator’s body dropped to the ground due to effects of Earth’s gravitational pull, causing it to crash onto the dark-grey carpet. Luckily, the participant managed to act quickly and banked his body backwards, causing his back to collide with the floor. This manoeuvre successfully eliminated a great percentage of chance of the delegate suffering from bone structural injuries. Despite this, a sensation of pain can be felt across the senator’s body as he shrieked out of discomfort.
Fellow members of the convention reacted rationally and enquired him of his current physical well-being, to which he responded with positive language, those around him also helped the fallen back onto his chair. The conference continued with no further physical injuries.
Comments